The Dalai Lama
How often do you practice loving acts towards your Body? Most people who struggle with negative body image and disordered eating are stuck in a cycle of destruction and punishment that is closer to a relationship from hell than a loving partnership. The relationship is also more often about getting rather than giving, as you focus on what your Body can do for you rather than what you can do for your Body. This can lead to pain and emptiness, as it runs counter to the souls that we really are.
Can you remember falling in love? When I first met my future husband, I only saw the best in him and continually felt the impulse to make loving gestures towards him. I wanted him to know how much I loved and appreciated him and wanted him to feel the pleasure of receiving love. I drove almost an hour to personally deliver him flowers after our third date, offered him countless massages, and liked nothing better than cooking dinners to make him happy. It never felt like I was forcing myself to act lovingly. It felt effortless, as though I had finally uncovered who I had always wanted to be.
Active Loving asks you to behave toward your body (or another) as though you had just fallen in love. Your task is to help your Body feel appreciated, supported, valued and enjoyed. You are going to learn to romance your Body by showing it through definite actions (taught below) that you see it with the awe and reverence that it deserves.
You might initially be resistant to implement these tasks. Who wants to act lovingly towards someone you have despised your whole life? Many of the actions might feel forced and you might even feel resentful that you have to do something for another that you don’t want to do (especially if you already do a lot for others, which many people do). The most exciting point to remember is what Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself." When you practice loving acts of kindness, you connect to your heart, your soul, and engage it to work it for you. Though it might feel strenuous in the short-term, the long-term rewards of connecting to love, gratitude, and giving are incomparable. Try some of these exercises and see. What do you have to lose? You can always go back to what you’ve been doing, right?
Exercises
• Make a gratitude list every night: At night, write down at least 5 things that you are grateful for about your body. Just watch and see how it changes your outlook!
• Practice giving gratitude to your body throughout the day. This can occur when you are exercising (thank you muscles, thank you heart, etc…), after you eat (thank you digestive system…), when you walk (thank you muscles and bones…). The possibilities are endless and you will become increasingly connected to how incredible your body is!!
• Notice the gifts that your relationship with your Body has brought you. Your Body is a most important spiritual partner: it teaches you important relationship skills; is a mirror of where you still need work; and it takes on the many unloving actions you dole out. Thank it for its endless patience, compassion, and love.
• Do a monthly Valentine/Birthday Day for your Body. This is a day of giving special treatment to your Body. It is a day in which you fully give of yourself to thank your Body for all it does for you. This could include a massage (yeah!), an embodied hike, lots of nutritious foods, etc…
• Whenever you notice that you are in the middle of Outside-In thinking (I hate my stomach, I look fat in these pants, I wish I had lost weight…), immediately CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION and drop into the Inside-Out: put your focus on a body part, from a cell to a whole system, bring awareness to how this body part helps you in your life, and thank it from deep in your heart. This exercise can be done hundreds of times a day. It rewires brain physiology and hugely impacts your mind and body.
• Learn something new about your Body every day/every week. We know so little about what our bodies do for us every second of the day. I have a huge Body Atlas which I keep at my bedside and I make sure to read at least one new piece of information about my body every day.
Join the Body Beloved Revolution by signing up for my bi-monthly newsletter at www.bodybeloved.com. You can also join the Facebook Body Beloved Revolution Newsletter and sign up for a tip-a-day on how to love your body on Twitter.
posted by Isabelle | 3:39 PM
